A change in the winds

For months I've been putting off writing this, hoping there would be something different to report. Something to say that would make the situation less grim, or somehow cheery.  On June 1st, Mark called to say he'd been laid off from his job. I thought he was joking. We couldn't really be without income with a baby so near? Our baby was due on the June 23rd, and came on  June 12th. When he lost his job, we were beside ourselves, eerily looking at what had happened wondering "What?!" and "I thought I could retire with that company". It all seemed unreal, and at the same time incredibly unfathomable. Now, 5 months later, after many applications, training, networking, interviews, and follow-ups we are only marginally closer to having income for our family.
  On top of no income, we were forced to try and sale our house or foreclose.  For months, every couple of days we would get "the call" of someone wanting to see the house tomorrow, today, or in an hour. It was agonizing and mostly torturous every time. We would spiffy, shine and polish until we were utterly worn out, then dash out the door so they could come into our home and curl their lips, raise their brows, and no doubt make uninterested comments about it. We in the mean time would hope, wish and pray they would like it enough to buy it, thus ending the agony of not knowing, of waiting, of no answers. Finally, we got an offer on the house! "YES" we thought, this is it.. this will save us from this miserable game. The offer was too low, and the looming foreclosure date ever closer. More house showings were scheduled, and more inconvenient exits. We thought for months that we were just a number to the bank, and Tuesday this week proved that a million times over. The last we had heard was they were reviewing the offer, and the foreclosure/sheriff's sale had been postponed. Wrong! They had foreclosed the day before without telling us.
   That's it, it is final. Whatever dream of staying in this house until we were ready, or moving when it was right for our family... well, whatever. The air in our house reeks of disappointment and discouragement. What could we have done differently? We felt right about moving here, so why all this? What's it about? The new realtor from the bank has been assigned, came to take pictures and verify someone is living in the house. Yes! Living means there are people, who eat, breath and feel! Oh man, do we feel. They asked us to move out on November 24th. (Yes, we are people! Yes we feel! Yes we celebrate holidays too.) We told them that wasn't possible, and arranged instead for us to move on December 1st.   It is final, depressing and so indescribable.
    Mara and Audri sense it too. I see it in their eyes and feel it in their cuddles. We searched for boxes today. We wonder when things will "Calm down" or be "back to normal". (sigh)

  On the other hand,  in the last months we have seen miracles daily.  Family and friends that have prayed for us have called up an army of angels that have helped us along, and carried some of the burdens.  Audri coos and smiles at us and laughs, and the tears in our hearts disappear for a moment. Mara gives luvs, asks us to read her a story, or says " I lus you so much!" in a way that only a 2 year old can and brings joy in to our hearts. We've had listening ears, warm hugs, and kind smiles.  There have been supplies provided when we wondered how we would buy them, and my favorite, doors open where there shouldn't have been.

  We do know that God hears prayers. That He is almighty, yet He knows our needs and our names. We don't begin to understand the purpose to these last few months or the ones that may come. We lament the loss of so much, and hope just a little that something good will be gained from these experiences.