First impressions

With a comfortable 74 degrees Farenheit outside, we are excited to say we are adjusting to our new surroundings Mark is enjoying his new job at Farm Bureau so far, especially when he got his company car with only 8 miles on it. He is still training, but is really content to be working again.

  Monday, April 30, Mark and I left the girls with my mom and drove to Burley to scout out somewhere to live. I'd marked down 3 places as possibles, and one I was hoping would work for our family. Well, on driveby the others were clearly not going to work. When we drove up to the last one with the Realtor who does the property management for it, I was in love. The house is big and has a few quirky things, like a European bidet in the master bath and pink and purple carpets, but the yard is absolutely amazing!! Miraculously we convinced them to let us rent it, and we were able to arrange everything to get the keys that night. 

  When we got here that evening, keys in hand, we realized the keys didn't open any of the house doors, only the doors to the garage, which has a wall built in front of the garage door to make it an extension of the house and not a functional garage. So, Mark played Super Spy and opened the front door with a credit card (or membership card to something that won't matter now that we don't live in Arizona). I think he was so proud. Ha ha ha! 

 We unloaded our rented moving truck after my dad brought it up and met us. Mark then went to Pocatello, ID for training for the week, and I went back to Tremonton to get my girls and come the next day with another load and stay for the week and unpack. The girls were super excited when they saw the new house. It was fun to finally unpack some of the boxes that have been packed and stored for almost 2 years. 

  It is not a good idea for those with active imaginations to stay in a new house by yourself for the first time. Friday night finally came, and help to unpack the BIG trailer Saturday morning. It was amazing to have so much help from the new ward who we hadn't even met yet, and from family. The yard looks fabulous and the garage is stacked high with things to find a place for.  It's going to be awesome!

   Last night for Family night I gave the girl's salt shakers with flower seeds in them, and we planted flowers. It was so much fun to know that the flowers might actually grow! 

  The property has lilac bushes blooming and a few tulips around the front. It shares a private lane with one other house a football field away. We can't hear cars rumbling by. The neighbors in the circle that our lane is a part of appear to be really tight knit. 

  I keep seeing red breasted robins pecking at worms in the yard. Yesterday there were little yellow birds chasing and frolicking in the lilac bushes. There is a small pasture ready for an animal or two to graze in. Mara tells me everyday what kind of animals we should put in the pasture, as well as "when are we going to get my puppy/kitty?" that apparently must go with having a big yard.  The yard has a fire pit as well that really ought to be broken in sometime soon by us. 

  We met Mark for lunch today at a little park on the Snake River. It was fun to picnic in the sun and see a few fish. Audri helped me throw an extra piece of Balogna to the fish, but they weren't interested. She put one piece in her mouth, then threw one to the fish.  I have such fun girls. 

  Okay, so enough of my oozing, I surely have boxes to unpack. 

We are eager to explore more of this little town, and the secrets the mountains around must contain. We are anxious also for visitors if you find yourself going this way. Thanks for your prayers and support. Thanks for your friendship. 

"My finger's not done charging"

Mara had her first and hopefully last ER visit by way of ambulance today. It was so terrible! She fell hard and knocked the wind out of her cried barely and became unconcious. Stopped breathing. Turned blue. Went rigid. I tried to get her to respond. I started rescue breathing/CPR. It was horrible. Someone passing by happened to see and came to help. Mark called 911. We laid her on the floor and I continued to try and revive her. I wasn't very calm. Finally she started to cry again. Soon the paramedics came. They checked her as she started to revive. We rode in an ambulance to the children's hospital where she continued to become more like herself. They cleared her after some tests and several checks. She was very brave. The EMT's in the ambulance gave her a new teddy bear, now named Ella-bear.

When Mark came to get us from the ER, we were still waiting to see the Doctors. Mara told Mark "I can't go yet. My finger is not done charging." It made me laugh. She is so clever.  All seems to be okay now. They told me just to keep an eye and carry on like normal.

I wish I knew what 'normal' was.  Our luck has not improved much. Just this week the dishwasher broke
Monday, then the clothes washer and the car broke yesterday, and then an ER visit and ambulance ride today.    Good thing it is only Wednesday and there is a chance of improvement before  the week is over. I guess it's good that the dryer isn't even plugged in so it cant break, and the fridge was destined to die when we moved into this place, so if it does, it won't be a surprise.

Mark's been driving a taxi. The hours are insane, but the schedule is somewhat flexible. He has met so many crazy, crazy people driving taxi. It is such a worry! It does give me the opportunity to say "Fare thee well" and "How fare ye?"  He's also going to write a taxi song or two based on his experiences. Stay tuned, it's going to be hilarious!
 
Mark did get a job offer. He's going to work as an insurance adjuster in Burley, Idaho.I know he'll do great at the job and working with the people. I'm working on being excited about it.

A new year, Our Year.

What to say? We've had a nice holiday season and are amazed that it is another new year. This will be the year of many positive changes for our family. Surely, this must be the year of the job that has taken so long to find. The year of feeling "at home", of feeling safe, of unpacking all those boxes stacked in the garage and not having to repack them for at least a year or two to come. This is going to be the year of countless joys. This is OUR year!
  My little girls are getting so big and so independent. I love the stories that Mara tells me, and the words and songs that Audri is learning to speak clearly now.  They are both such a delight!
 We've been blessed by many little miracles that have helped us through. We have been watched over by angels and led along a little at a time.

  Thank you, if you are reading this, for caring and sticking by us. May good things come to you and yours as well!

Tough Stuff

It's been almost 1 year since Mark was layed-off. One year since Audri was born. One year since we started packing boxes to show the house which left us on constant realtor/house showing alert. We've moved 5 times in 7 months!!  It's been a year of uncertainty, unknown, unpredictability, stress, and so many other things nearly impossible to describe, and yet, I've tried to explain when asked. After explaining, I feel I've only burdened the asker, which makes me feel more gloomy. This year of learning has left so many gaps in our lives.  I am so tired of: 

• Not being able to find things lost in boxes.
• Being judged
• having Mara ask "I want to go home" and not knowing where to drive. 
• Falling short of all the "should be doings" 
• Losing deciding power
• ......!
• Boxes
• Scratched, painted, mouse inhabited, and ruined furniture from movers and construction projects.
• Living in constant construction
• not feeling safe/being vulnerable
• such drastic changes that are so hard to explain to Mara
• not having the answers
• ......

However hard or out of control life seems on any given day, MOST of the time, I would love to say we are handling it well. YES it is depressing, YES some days feel like there is a permanent black cloud raining over us, yet some how I know it's going to be okay. My, and our, frustration comes certainly in the unknowing. 

  We have been blessed with so much fun family time, despite the constant shadows lurking. It really is quite impossible to explain all the emotions and dynamics of the situation, and yet I keep trying and fail each time. To those of you who have asked kindly of our situation, this apology is for you! I am sorry to not have a simple answer,  to go on and on about it all, and by so doing in anyway placing the burden with you. 

For the jar

We've been trying to potty train little Mara and in the effort, we promised to give her a quarter for every time she sat on the potty. We gave her a small jar, and the goal of going to the movie theater when she has enough. With $6.00 + movie tickets we figured it was fairly balanced goal. She did fairly well the first day and after a couple of tries she had a few coins clinking in her jar.

  So I asked her if she wanted another quarter for her jar. "Yes!" was her exuberant reply. "How do you get monies for your jar, Mara?" her answer was "I say PLEASSSSSEE!" in a very cheesy and convincing tone. 

 It totally cracked us up. I love being a mommy.

Christmas 2010

We have so much to be thankful for this season, most especially our beautiful girls. Audri is 6 months now and just delightful! Mara is nearly 3 and always inquisitive and telling stories. We have had many angels watching out for us! Thanks to all! Happy holidays! 

 

A change in the winds

For months I've been putting off writing this, hoping there would be something different to report. Something to say that would make the situation less grim, or somehow cheery.  On June 1st, Mark called to say he'd been laid off from his job. I thought he was joking. We couldn't really be without income with a baby so near? Our baby was due on the June 23rd, and came on  June 12th. When he lost his job, we were beside ourselves, eerily looking at what had happened wondering "What?!" and "I thought I could retire with that company". It all seemed unreal, and at the same time incredibly unfathomable. Now, 5 months later, after many applications, training, networking, interviews, and follow-ups we are only marginally closer to having income for our family.
  On top of no income, we were forced to try and sale our house or foreclose.  For months, every couple of days we would get "the call" of someone wanting to see the house tomorrow, today, or in an hour. It was agonizing and mostly torturous every time. We would spiffy, shine and polish until we were utterly worn out, then dash out the door so they could come into our home and curl their lips, raise their brows, and no doubt make uninterested comments about it. We in the mean time would hope, wish and pray they would like it enough to buy it, thus ending the agony of not knowing, of waiting, of no answers. Finally, we got an offer on the house! "YES" we thought, this is it.. this will save us from this miserable game. The offer was too low, and the looming foreclosure date ever closer. More house showings were scheduled, and more inconvenient exits. We thought for months that we were just a number to the bank, and Tuesday this week proved that a million times over. The last we had heard was they were reviewing the offer, and the foreclosure/sheriff's sale had been postponed. Wrong! They had foreclosed the day before without telling us.
   That's it, it is final. Whatever dream of staying in this house until we were ready, or moving when it was right for our family... well, whatever. The air in our house reeks of disappointment and discouragement. What could we have done differently? We felt right about moving here, so why all this? What's it about? The new realtor from the bank has been assigned, came to take pictures and verify someone is living in the house. Yes! Living means there are people, who eat, breath and feel! Oh man, do we feel. They asked us to move out on November 24th. (Yes, we are people! Yes we feel! Yes we celebrate holidays too.) We told them that wasn't possible, and arranged instead for us to move on December 1st.   It is final, depressing and so indescribable.
    Mara and Audri sense it too. I see it in their eyes and feel it in their cuddles. We searched for boxes today. We wonder when things will "Calm down" or be "back to normal". (sigh)

  On the other hand,  in the last months we have seen miracles daily.  Family and friends that have prayed for us have called up an army of angels that have helped us along, and carried some of the burdens.  Audri coos and smiles at us and laughs, and the tears in our hearts disappear for a moment. Mara gives luvs, asks us to read her a story, or says " I lus you so much!" in a way that only a 2 year old can and brings joy in to our hearts. We've had listening ears, warm hugs, and kind smiles.  There have been supplies provided when we wondered how we would buy them, and my favorite, doors open where there shouldn't have been.

  We do know that God hears prayers. That He is almighty, yet He knows our needs and our names. We don't begin to understand the purpose to these last few months or the ones that may come. We lament the loss of so much, and hope just a little that something good will be gained from these experiences.

Baby bee

Little wonders

Isn't it so amazing to see God's creations in full color and action!? I am so amazed and blessed by my sweet little girls and wonderful husband who helps me so much with them! Despite the chaos of the last few months, we have been so blessed and we are immensely grateful for it.

Pictures are a bit out of order, but I'll try and tell our story. :)

Sunday, August 15--> afternoon smiles

Packing and preparing the house has been exhausting, especially with Mara undoing all that we just did. I caught Mark taking a cat nap in the office... poor guy!

Family night out. We spent a few hours at the splash pad in the Tempe Market place/mall and then checked out all the best reads in the book store. Mara enjoyed it very much and wanted to read every book she could reach. Mark makes a great story teller too!

Daddy and little chuba baby settling down. Audri was 12 lbs and 13 0z at her doctor's appointment this week (August 10th). She was so brave to get 3 shots, but took it hard later that night. She puked all over when they tried to give her an oral vaccination for rota virus.
Sister secrets
The girls are so sweet together in the mornings. Audri smiles and has begun to "coo"
which totally makes my mornings. Mara is good with her sister, but definitely likes her own time and tells me at least once a day "Mommy, put Audri down." or "Daddy hold Audri?" which is really nice way or putting "get rid of that baby!" Audri has an adorable "oh my heck!" expression where she throws her arms out and scrunches her brow in surprise... it totally cracks me up, but is hard to get on camera. This is my other favorite expression. When I gently blow in her face she does frog/bug eyes. Totally love it! I wonder if the boys will appreciate it when she gets older. Ha ha ha
We went camping the last weekend in July at Ponderosa camp ground with 2 families from our ward. They were so awesome. Mara loved all the new friends that helped her find worms, swing with her, and play in the woods.
They totally helped take care of my girls, and they are amazing families! (Audri on lap, and Mara in the swing)
Except for the down pour of rain that lasted a few hours Friday afternoon, the weather was perfect. We even got used to the GI-normous beetles (june bugs and others) that plagued the camp at nights searching for light. Anybody need a bug collection?

Making brownies for the ward swim party.
See what I drive this man to? He's lying on a bed of nails at the Arizona Science Museum, one of our "let's get out of the house before Stacy cracks" tactics. I've felt awfully confined because of the heat and not being able to take Audri out in it much.

I've told Mark it's time he started pulling his weight around here,... ha ha ha instead he just tried it out at the science museum. "Wahoo!" Mara says
The air vents on the table made the balls "float" in the air, but Mara thought they were better thrown across the room.
Often I get to enjoy both of my girls on my lap, room or not.
Mara found one of Audri's outfits and put it on, it was too short, but I was surprised it even fit her at all... little skinny girl. I was trying to have Audri wake Mara, but Mara just cuddled up next to her and went back to sleep.
Sassy girl

yee haw?
I found Mara asleep the other day in her dresser drawer with all her clothes strewn across the floor. It must have been so uncomfortable, but there she was.

Audri's bug eyes!